


the light at the end of my tunnel (we'll still smile even when the world is burning down in flames)

by silverstarsinthedark



Category: The Maze Runner (2014), The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst and Tragedy, Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Newmas - Freeform, Pain, Slow Build, newtmas - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 04:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2679851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverstarsinthedark/pseuds/silverstarsinthedark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe he had known him, before, when they were still safe. When they were still stable, with no worries of living until the next day hanging over their heads like a guillotine, threatening to fall at any second. When the need to break down didn’t threaten to overwhelm them with every passing second.<br/>When everything was still okay.<br/>--<br/>Or, the one where they realise that they've always known each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the light at the end of my tunnel (we'll still smile even when the world is burning down in flames)

**Author's Note:**

> Heeeeey! :D How're you lovely people today? :) Thanks for getting me so many kudos on my last fic (it's a lot to me!), you people are awesome. <3 Sorry for the really long title for this fic.  
> Happy reading! :)

_Maybe he had known him, before, when they were still safe. When they were still stable, with no worries of living until the next day hanging over their heads like a guillotine, threatening to fall at any second. When the need to break down didn’t threaten to overwhelm them with every passing second._

_When everything was still okay._

\--

  “I think, maybe,” Newt whispered tentatively, “That- That I used to know you.”

  Thomas – _Tommy,_ Newt reminded himself _–_ looked up slowly and an almost fleeting emotion flashed by in his eyes.

  “And I think that,” Thomas’ voice was soft, almost shy, and for some reason, Newt felt the urge to wrap his arms around him and tell him that everything was going to be okay, “I still remember you.”

  _And maybe, just maybe, Newt still remembered him too._

\--

  The usual hustle and bustle of the Glade died down as the night drew near, and the chilly winds persuaded most of the Gladers to start settling into their hammocks or sleeping bags.

  Newt did a last check around the Glade, and made sure that everyone was still safe and content – _or, at least as content as one could ever be in the Glade,_ – before he decided to head towards the Deadheads, where he settled against a tree trunk, the rough bark of the tree unpleasantly prodding into his back as he slid down and sat down onto the wet grass.

  He was sure he wouldn’t be able to sleep for at least a few more hours. Too many thoughts – thoughts of the new girl, and what her arrival might bring to the Glade, among others – still plagued his mind.

_(And thoughts of the Greenie, Tommy, too – but Newt didn’t want to delve into that anymore, not now, when his head was already enough of a mess.)_

But, of course, fate never gave in to his wishes.

  Newt froze when a hand landed gingerly onto his shoulder. He looked up, and slight anticipation ran through him when he saw Thomas, eyebrows furrowed and mouth pursed, staring anxiously down at him.

  “You okay?” Thomas asked softly as he slid down to sit next to Newt.

  _(Newt may or may not have chosen to go to the Deadheads to clear his head just because Thomas was near, and he may or may not have stalked Thomas a few times to find out where he slept. Thomas’ presence, for some unfathomable reason, always helped Newt to concentrate and think better. He didn’t want to think about why.)_

“’M fine, Tommy,” Newt mumbled under his breath as he tried his best not to look at Thomas, who was dangerously close to Newt, their shoulders brushing from time to time.

  “Okay,” Thomas whispered, leaning more against Newt as he sighed. “Aren’t you tired?”

  Newt considered it for a bit before he shook his head. “Nah, I’m still too bloody hyped up from the fuss today over the girl.”

  “Okay, then,” Thomas yawned and settled more comfortably against Newt. Newt tried not to shiver at the contact. “Do you mind if I use you as a pillow? I’m kind of tired, and it’s cold.”

  “What does the cold have to do with me being your human pillow?” Newt asked with an amused smile.

  “You’re warm,” Thomas mumbled with lidded eyes as his head fell onto Newt’s shoulder. “G’dnight.”

  “’Night,” Newt chuckled and smiled as he felt Thomas’ breaths even out.

  _It felt so natural, so familiar to him. It was as if they had done this a million times before._

  Newt’s worries and thoughts melted away as he leaned into Thomas, letting the strangely familiar warmth envelop him and soothe him into slumber.

  _So much for not being able to sleep._

\--

  Newt woke up the next day to find his and Thomas’ hands and legs intertwined, and one of Thomas’ arms wrapped protectively around his waist.

  Instead of feeling shocked and recoiling away from the unfamiliar position, Newt only leaned back into Thomas’ embrace, feeling strangely relaxed and content.

  _As if they had done it a million times before._

\--

  The days seemed to drag on longer as the girl continued to stay in a coma, completely oblivious to the world around her.

  Newt also grew more and more weary with each passing day, the constant worry and stress finally taking its toll on him. Despite all that, he still couldn’t sleep at night, not until the early hours of the morning, but by then, it was already time for him to get up and start helping out around the Glade.

  It was both mental and physical torture for Newt.

  So he wasn’t surprised when Thomas came up to him one day, a worried frown on his face, and asked him about the constant bags under his eyes.

  He had gotten the same lecture a few days earlier from Alby as well, so when Thomas started fretting over him like a mother hen, he just brushed Thomas’ worried questions away with a casual wave of his hand and a half-hearted “’M fine.”

  He was, needless to say, surprised when Thomas shook his head firmly and grabbed his hand, pulling him away from his task at hand. “No, you’re not. Come on, I’ll help you relax and make it easier for you to sleep. You need to stop stressing yourself out so much.”

  Thomas dragged him over to the Deadheads, over to that particular tree where they had slept that night.

  “What are you going to do?” Newt asked as he tried to pull his hand away from Thomas’ firm grip.

  “Help you relax,” Thomas replied curtly as they arrived under the tree. “C’mon, take a seat,” Thomas pushed at Newt’s shoulders, forcing him to sit down on the grass.

  Thomas plopped down onto the grass behind him and rested his hands on Newt’s shoulders.

  “Okay?” Thomas asked softly, his breath tickling the back of Newt’s neck.

  “Y-Yeah,” Newt stuttered out as he melted into the warm touch of Thomas’ firm hands, and the sensation of his breath brushing against the back of his neck.

  And then Thomas started kneading gently at the muscles in Newt’s shoulders, and Newt basically fell into a daze, his eyes falling half-shut.

  “Does it hurt?” Thomas whispered in slight concern.

  “N-No, it doesn’t. It- ah, actually feels really good.” Newt could practically feel all of the muscles in his body relaxing in response to Thomas’ persistent touches and gentle kneading. He felt all of the stress from the previous few days drain out of his body as Thomas pushed at the knots in his shoulders.

  “That’s good,” Newt could practically feel the happy smile Thomas aimed at the back of his head.

  “Mm,” Newt hummed and leaned back into Thomas’ touch.

  After a moment of comfortable silence, Newt glanced up at the sky and realized that the sky was darkening. He sighed and reluctantly turned behind, placing a hand on top of Thomas’, stilling his hands.

  “Hey, Tommy,” Newt started, and then stopped abruptly when Thomas leaned forward and gently pressed their foreheads together. Thomas breathed out shakily as he slipped his hand into one of Newt’s.

  Their hands slotted together perfectly, their palms pressed together with the right amount of pressure, their fingers comfortably interlocked. _Everything was right where they should be._

  It made tingles explode all over Newt’s hand.

  Thomas must’ve noticed Newt’s breath hitch, since he gestured to their interlocked hands and whispered, “See? It’s as if we’ve done it before. And not just once. We must’ve known each other, way before, before you even came into the Glade. And…” Thomas glanced up, and Newt could see, _feel,_ the hidden message in his eyes.

  _And they had been close, before. Too close to just simply be friends._

\--

  “You’re really bloody stupid, you know, Tommy?” Newt gritted out under his breath. “You shouldn’t have run into the Maze just like that. All because of what? You wanted to be a bloody shucking hero and save Minho and Alby?” Newt shook his head and sighed. “You bloody scared me to death. I thought that I would never see you again.”

  “I- I… I’m sorry, Newt. I just did what I thought was right at the time. I couldn’t just leave them out there like that. Alby was injured, stung, and Minho was completely on his own. I- I just… I couldn’t just stand there and watch them struggle.”

  “I really hate you sometimes,” Newt mumbled. “I honestly thought that you would die out there.”

  “I’m sorry, Newt,” Thomas wrapped Newt into a hug. “I’m really sorry.”

  Somehow, that one warm – _and eerily familiar_ – hug soothed Newt’s frazzled nerves, and he unconsciously leaned into the embrace, his eyes fluttering close.

\--

  _“Perfect,” Thomas blurted out. “We’re perfect together.”_

_“Aren’t you exaggerating a bit?” Newt asked, slightly amused, trying to brush away the thought that Thomas might actually be correct._

_It’s not possible, Newt thought stubbornly._

_“No,” Thomas looked up, straight into Newt’s eyes. “I’m not. I can feel it.”_

_Newt looked down, at their entwined legs, at their interlocked hands, and noticed the way his head fell effortlessly onto Thomas’ shoulder whenever they were in this position._

_It was natural, it was instinct. It happened without either of them realizing._

_It was the way how things were supposed to be._

_“Yeah,” Newt whispered, almost inaudible, “Yeah, I can feel it too.”_

\--

  “How close do you think we were, before?” Thomas asked softly, his eyes still trained on the night sky dotted with various constellations above them.

  “Close enough,” Newt yawned as he discreetly leaned more against Thomas, hoping to be embraced with more warmth.

  Thomas hesitated for a moment before he whispered, “Close enough to be lovers?”

  And somehow, Newt _knew._ He knew it like he knew that he needed oxygen in his lungs to survive, he knew it like he knew not to put any pressure on his bad leg because it would _hurt._

  He just _knew._

  “Mm, yeah,” Newt nodded and blinked sleepily at Thomas. “Definitely close enough.”

\--

  _“Do you think we’ll ever get out of here?”_

 _“I bloody hope so, Tommy. I just hope there_ is _a way out of here.”_

_“I’ll find one. I’ll get you, and all of the others, safely out of here.”_

_“Is that a promise?”_

_“Yeah,” Thomas hugged Newt closer to him, his voice muffled by Newt’s hair. “It is.”_

_The unspoken statement was left unsaid, but not unheard._

  ‘I'd do anything for you.’ 

\--

  The first time they had kissed, it had been in the heat of the moment, when they were still strung high from emotion, still wound tight with worry and pain. It was completely unprecedented.

  It was perfect.

  _“Promise me you’ll be safe out there? That you’ll watch out for any lurking Grievers or something?”_

_“Newt, I’ll be fine. I promise.”_

_“No, you don’t understand. What if you don’t come back on time? What if you get lost? What if the doors close before you manage to enter the Glade? What if you- mmppfh.”_

_Thomas effectively cut Newt off by fervently pressing his lips against Newt’s own._

_When they had pulled away, they were both gasping for breath._

_“I swear I’ll be fine, Newt. I swear.” Thomas breathed out, locking eyes with Newt. “But you’ll stay safe for me too, won’t you?”_

  _“I’ll stay safe too,” Newt promised. “Nothing’ll ever happen to me.”_

\--

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But promises were meant to be broken.

\--

 

  The last time they had kissed had been a mere second before Thomas pulled the trigger.

\--

  _His heart ached._

_It ached so badly, so much that he couldn’t move without the pain overwhelming him, threatening to take him down, threatening to collapse him, to break him down._

_He knew. This was the end._

  _He stared down at watery amber eyes, and the pain intensified. His muscles and limbs were still locked above Thomas even though all he wanted to do right now was to collapse on top of him and hug him, kiss him, and apologize – he needed to apologize so badly, for everything, for anything that he had put Thomas through._

_But they didn’t have the time._

_And Newt didn’t have the heart anymore._

_“Please, Tommy. Please.”_

_\--_

_Thomas remembers._

_He remembers a boy with messy blonde hair, wide brown eyes and soft pink lips. He remembers holding his hand, whispering sweet nothings into his ear, kissing him – he remembers it all._

_He remembers the times when they had nothing, no one else, only each other – when their world was crumbling around them, when they had nothing else to live for. When they were afraid and alone…_

_But at least they still had each other._

_He remembers everything._

_So why can’t Thomas find him anymore?_

\--

_‘I’m sorry, Tommy. I never hated you.’_

_‘I love you, I always did and I still will.’_

_\--_

**Author's Note:**

> Aannnddd... What did you all think of the fic? ^^ Leave me a comment so that I can improve, or a kudo if you liked it. <3 Thank youu! :) xx Check out my other fics if you all have the time, it'll mean so much to me. :'D Stay amazing xx


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